Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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