i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
