when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
