The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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