OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
