She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
