Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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