we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
