I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
