We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
