Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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