just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
