Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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