PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
