She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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