yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
