Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he shaved USA in his pubs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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