when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
