Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
