He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
