I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
