Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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