oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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