last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
