This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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