It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
