Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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