She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
