are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm bleeding and have questions
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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