Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
