whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
as a side note pls kill me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
