see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
