your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
