I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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