have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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