Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
