too bad you live with your parents still
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
