Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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