it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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