you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize