Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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