I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
