just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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