That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
