It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
