We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
