i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
