Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
