I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
sex in a hospital.. check
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
