I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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