is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize