well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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