its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
