mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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